Author: Wendy Ong

The Peace of Wild Things

/ Wendy Ong / Leave a comment

I needed to get out and recharge my very depleted batteries from the last fortnight of misfortunes. One of my favourite poems describes the sense of peace and home this morning in Grand Teton National Park.

A familiar place...

A familiar place…

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

–Wendell Berry

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The light changes so quickly.

I knew that there was going to be a lot of snow but I didn’t realize just how deep it would be. It would make travel slow-going.

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The snow bank came close to my shoulders

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The end of the plowed road and start of the snow-shoeing.

I was eager for the sun to hit me.

I was eager for the sun to hit me.

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Which it did.

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An errant side track that led to nowhere. It was one of the few spots where there was an existing track of some kind.

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I was quite interested in the touring possibilities in that gully.

Because of all the new snow, breaking trail was very tiring for me. I had to stop far far short of my original destination because I knew I had to save my left leg for the return journey back to the car, and also my lower right leg muscle was aching and I did not want to reduce the chances of skiing any further.

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My tracks.

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There was little danger of me exceeding the speed limit.

PT and orthopedic specialist appointments tomorrow – fingers crossed these will yield (fast) dividends so that I can ski.

Lower leg problems identified and treatment plan – one activity causing problems for another

/ Wendy Ong / Leave a comment

While I am trying not to slip into that negative space (too much) of feeling bad that I am not able to ski, I am getting answers and taking control of the situation, which always makes you feel better. It is unfortunate that I am getting to experience Jackson Hole in this way, but it is also good to be getting treatment in a place where there are so many athletes and so many health professionals who not only are knowledgeable about skiers/climbers, but understand the importance of these activities to us, and also trust our knowledge of our own bodies and information we have to give them.

I tried not to feel too bad waking up to all this new snow on my car this morning.

I tried not to feel too bad waking up to all this new snow on my car this morning.

Rolling into JH resort this morning

Rolling into JH resort this morning

Pre- 8AM tram line on a powder day (I think the tram eventually opened at 9.30am or so)

Pre- 8AM tram line on a powder day (I think the tram eventually opened at 9.30am or so)

I went to the boot-fitter at the resort base as scheduled. I already knew that the Peroneus longus was the muscle that was hurting and I  have a history of right foot instability and very high arches; but I was interested to see what the boot-fitter would see. This is what he found:

  1. My boot-shell is a good fit for me (this is a good thing to hear after dropping money on ski boots!)
  2. I have a very very flexible right foot without much padding (e.g. he was able to feel all my metatarsals). It was pretty funny seeing this very calm person’s expression bug out when he moved my foot around
  3. My current off-the-shelf-orthotic in my ski boot is good but could be better
  4. There is nothing bad about my ski stance. I do not have strangely shaped tibia (bow-legged), my knee does not drop in, or anything like that

Given the above, there were not a ton of drastic options. But after discussion, we decided the best we could do was to:

  1. Get a custom orthotic to prevent my mid-foot from rolling around. While my current orthotic prevents me from sliding forward/backward and heel-lift, there was still a fair bit of lateral motion causing strain on my peroneus. He charged me half-price, which was nice. I am so used to having to pay what seems like “double” (even though I know it does not scale that way) for things related to my feet/legs.
  2. Heat the boot shell (this was done when I purchased the boot) and stand in it so that the boot can even better conform to the shape of my leg.

Clearly these are things that are not going to fix the acute issue. But I hope, and think, it will help going forward in the longer term.

The next stop was the physiotherapist. I really liked her because she said, Yeah, you know exactly what is going on. What I learned from her was:

  1. I have a “CRAZY flexible” right foot. Again, it was slightly amusing to see her remark how ridiculous it was, except that in this case this is causing problems and not some cool party trick I can show off.  Which leaves the number of cool party tricks I know at zero.
  2. The muscles under my arch are not strong. At all.

I was not aware of my super-human right foot, but I do know #1 stems from all the climbing I do with it and how I force and contort it into all sorts of strange positions. My right foot is also doing a ton of work stabilizing my right leg when I am skiing, climbing etc.. I know I ask a lot out of it and push it, but I did not know these would be the consequences. A case of one sport (climbing) causing problems in another sport (skiing). My indoor and sport-climbing shoe is also quite downturned and aggressive, farther exacerbating/causing these arch weakness issues.

I had some soft-tissue work done, and also ultra-sound to break up any possible starts to tendonitis. I am also starting my prescribed strengthening exercises, doing my hot-cold contrast therapy, and things to get the inflammation down. We also agreed that it was still worthwhile going to the orthopedic specialist on Friday to get the cortisone shot to reduce the inflammation. Her answer would have been different if I lived here, but given my situation and goals, getting a kick-start seemed like a good idea. We will have a better idea on Friday whether I can  ski on the remainder of this trip.

This adaptive business is very tiring some times and I have ambivalent feelings about the term and how it can be sometimes used euphemistically. Yes, we are adapting to our physical limitations, but these adaptations are not normal. They create problems in other sports, and other areas in our lives. So to sugar-coat this term, I think, is slightly disingenuous. Even as I write this, I feel slightly ungrateful, because there are many assets that are handed to us just by luck of the draw: family, socio-economic circumstances we are born into, a particular ethnic group, the place(s) we grow up, physical ability. Yet this strikes a particular nerve because, for the most part, most people are born with functioning, “normal” human bodies. Questioning what is fair and not fair about such things is futile, mostly (social justice issues are a different matter), but it is hard not to some times. I guess we just keep pushing on and make the most of what we have.

I have the okay to some easy snow-shoeing so I am keeping my fingers crossed roads will be clear for me to drive to Grand Teton National Park tomorrow to clear the mind and body a bit.

Peroneus longus muscle – continued injury and pain, and action plan

/ Wendy Ong / Leave a comment

Today was storm riding day at Jackson.

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A momentary respite from the snow and wind

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Unfortunately, I was hardly able to take advantage of these epic conditions because of the excruciating lateral lower right leg pain previously experienced in Alta, UT. I thought the almost one week of rest would have fixed the issue, but this was not the case. I found that I could not ski safely on even easy terrain. Every little bump or any kind of pressure/exertion on the outside (right) turn hurt so much that I could not control my boot/ski. I focused on trying to reach the base area safely and went into the boot-fitters therefght to see if they might be able to offer any suggestions. After briefly explaining my situation and skiing setup to the boot-fitter, I decided to schedule an appointment with him tomorrow morning (his earliest opening) thinking that there might be stuff that could be done to my boot around the cuff to help alleviate the pain. I tried using some silicone shin pad protectors, as an interim solution, but they offered no relief (this was before I identified the true cause, so I guess the fact they did not work for me is not a surprise and should not be a judgment of the product’s intended use). I was/am feeling very desperate, and wasn’t sure whether to seek treatment here e.g. get cortisone shots to deal with the pain (this would be a very short-term fix and would not treat this pain in the future, such as when I am supposed to ski in Chamonix in February), call it quits and drive back to the East Coast, or what to do…

This is definitely not simple shin bang. I had initially thought it was a shin issue, but after an internet search for lateral leg pain related to skiing, I am positive it is my Peroneus longus muscle that is hurting so much. This is actually not a common muscle to be injured for skiers (or for runners, or people/athletes in general for that matter). But, this excerpt from the linked Wikipedia article explains it all:

“Taking their fixed points below, the fibularis muscles serve to steady the leg upon the foot.[2] This is especially the case in standing upon one leg, when the tendency of the superincumbent weight is to throw the leg medialward; the fibularis longus overcomes this tendency by drawing on the lateral side of the leg.[2]”

So this really sucks right. My leg pain is due to the very fact I ski on one leg. Having high arches exacerbates this issue : “However, due to your high arches, the bones of your feet including the cuboid tend to be in a more rigid and fixed position. Therefore, your Peroneus Longus experiences extra stress from this lost mechanical advantage because it pulls harder in an attempt to bring the medial arch closer to the ground. Over time, this excess pulling causes strain to the muscle.”

After much calling around, I have made some short-term plans:

  1. Wednesday 8:00 am: Appointment with boot-fitter (I made this appointment before identifying the true issue, but I still hope this might help with pain)
  2. Wednesday 10:00am: Appointment with physiotherapist in Jackson, WY
  3. Friday PM: Appointment with orthopedic specialist to perhaps get cortisone shots

This is not how I wanted to be experiencing Jackson Hole, WY.

Depending on the above, I may have to truncate this big road trip and drive back East. I’ll be even more upset if this issue prevents me from snow-shoeing or walking. I was in tears as I told this to Scott, who responded with, this could happen to anyone Wendy. I know he was trying to console me. But I said, NO, my outriggers wouldn’t have broken if I didn’t have to use them because of my accident. NO, this part of my leg would not be hurting so much and preventing me from skiing if it wasn’t because of my accident and I had to ski like this. I realize this sounds petulant, but I get very upset when something related to my SCI prevents me from just skiing one run, let alone taking advantage of amazing conditions in Jackson Hole of all places. I feel like I am not asking for much. Skiing isn’t the most important thing around by a long shot, but like I said, it seems like yet another thing I love that I cannot do.

I am having a hard time making peace with myself and physical circumstances. And to not be resentful. I have to though, right?? I can’t live a life feeling this way, feeling cheated or robbed, because there would be no joy in that whatsoever. I know pushing through (hard) things is one thing people admire about me; but I am tired. I am just tired.

My good friend George said that at least I am learning valuable information about how my body responds to skiing. This is true. I just wish I was not having to learn this information during what is supposed to be an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime trip.

The short-term steps are just that, short-term to get through this acute stage of the injury. Longer-term plans: I was just told I should consider ankle physiotherapy to stabilize/retrain this process in my leg. Apparently this is a “known thing.”

 

Such thing as too much snow, and nostalgia

/ Wendy Ong / Leave a comment

Well, there is such thing as too much snow as I found out today.  About a foot of very heavy, wet snow fell overnight, more on the upper mountain, and when I woke up this morning to clear my car, it was raining. I knew there was going to be a ton of avy work going on this morning, but did not anticipate just how much this would delay mountain opening and how much of the mountain would remain closed as a result. I later found out that today was the first time since 1979 that schools were closed due to weather here!

There were a lot of “running starts” in my car to drive over piles of snow etc. this morning

Very heavy wet snow covering car this morning

Very heavy wet snow covering car this morning

Walking back to inn after clearing car

Walking back to the inn after clearing car. Quite pretty.

While I am not a fan of driving, my gear setup is a bit finicky and I find myself having to carry more than the average skier. So I elected to drive to the Ranch Lot because I had read there was free handicapped parking there, and I also thought I would be able to walk from that lot to the aerial tram/gondola. To my chagrin, I ended up having to pay $10 for all day parking, and still had to take a shuttle bus, even though the website does say that parking is free with a handicap placard. I may have to return tomorrow and show them this on my phone, or just suck it up and take the bus.

I arrived at the base around 8.30am in anticipation of the 9am lift start times. A lot of people appear to be louts like me and not have to work on a Monday morning. Actually, that is not true. A lot of people standing in line were locals looking to get some turns in before heading to work later in the day.

Don't people have to work on a Monday morning? :)

Don’t people have to work on a Monday morning? :)

I elected to wait in the gondola line versus the aerial tram line, because I didn’t think I wanted to drop into Corbett’s my very first run…

We waited and waited. And waited. 9am passed by, then 10am…There was so much avalanche blasting to be heard as I stood in line getting in the wet rain/snow. A lot of people left the line because, heck, they needed to get to work. I also wondered whether I wanted to use my lift pass on a very short day where very few of the lifts would be open, if they even did open. At this point only three of the small metro quads had begun turning.

Ski patrol wearing a snorkel

Ski patrol wearing a snorkel

Aerial tram line

Aerial tram line about 1.5 hours in

Lift status after over 1.5 hours of waiting in line. You can see only three small quads are turning because of the High avy danger indicated on the sign below. At least my sore shins felt good in my ski boot…

Very high avy risk and therefore so few chairs opens

Very high avy risk and therefore so few chairs opens

I decided to call it quits at 10.45am. By this time, the aerial tram was still not loading. I checked back later in the afternoon to see what lifts did end up running. The only change to the above was the Bridger Gondola, so I feel justified/okay in my decision. After taking the shuttle back to the Ranch Lot and then driving to park at the base briefly to run an errand, I found people were STILL waiting in line for the aerial tram at 11.30am. Damn!

Well, maybe one day I will ski…but today I decided I might as well check out the town of Jackson itself, especially since it is a little bit of a drive from Teton Village. It had been many many years since I was in the town center itself (I had avoided it the last time I was climbing in the Tetons around 2008, when we stayed at the American Alpine Club Climbers Ranch), so going back brought back many memories.

The "famous" Jackson Town Center antlers on each of the square's four corners

The “famous” Jackson Town Center antlers on each of the square’s four corners. You can see the roads and pavements were just ice and lakes.

In particular, I wanted to check out an old-school mountaineering shop called “Teton Mountaineering.” I love places like this and hanging out and talking with cool staff members.

Teton Mountaineering shop, Jackson, WY

Teton Mountaineering shop, Jackson, WY

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Got piton?

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Hammers

Hammers and ice-axes

The very first time I came to Jackson was as an 18 year old, in the summer between freshman and sophomore (1st and 2nd) year in university. I had only just gotten my US drivers license in California that summer (although I had been driving in Thailand etc. before that) so was still quite new to the road. I remember driving to meet my brother in the dark Wyoming night, being quite nervous because I did not have experience driving on dark, relatively rural roads alone, and thinking about all the elk and other game waiting to impact my car. Today, I had to smile as I drove through the exact intersection where I so clearly remember being pulled over by a Wyoming police officer that evening. I had failed to turn left using the left turn lane and he made me pull over into the nearby Albertson’s supermarket parking lot. He kindly let me off with a warning, saying that “There are left turn lanes in California too, you know.” I cannot believe I remember all this almost 20 years later!

The left turn lane was the site of my first WY infraction

The left turn lane was the site of my first WY infraction as an 18 year old

Jackson Hole, WY: The reward for a very fraught driving day

/ Wendy Ong / Leave a comment

Well, I am doing my best to roll with the weather punches. Feeling pretty sloth-like and fat from no skiing. I knew today was not going to be the best day at Snowbird, UT, but I still got up early, drank my coffee while I looked at the weather/mountain reports. Reports were for rain at the base, snow higher up, and wind gusts of 50 mph. Hrm, not ideal. But I still decided to pack up and make my way up the road towards Little Cottonwood Canyon. Precipitation was coming down as rain but the air temperature was reading 24 degF. Uh oh. Before I even began climbing, at a very large 4+ lane intersection and with plenty of time and distance to brake for the red light, I found myself unable to stop because of how bad the black ice was on the road. It was fortunate that it was still early and there were not many cars on the road. I decided to pull into a nearby parking lot and reassess. Now, there were reports of continued warm temperatures, rain/ice/black ice on the road, and 70 mph gusts on the mountain. Even if a foot of snow was projected to fall on the mountain, I thought, getting into a terrible car accident on the way to Snowbird to be lifted off the ground by 70 mph gusts sounds like a terrible reason to die/get hurt/total my car. I took a deep breath and made the call to call it quits on Salt Lake City for now.

Because the system was so warm, it was wreaking havoc on the roads. All of us were driving no more than 35 mph, with many car lengths between us, on the usual 70 mph I-15 interstate that runs north-south out of Salt Lake City, in the part that was still within the city and therefore very well maintained. And, still, two cars spun out right in front of me. The first car did a slow spin out to the right and I thought it is good the car is spinning out of the way of traffic. Then the car between it and me decided to step on their brakes….NOOOOO!!! That car also spun out to the right, and a car accident involving me was narrowly averted.

I elected to drive the longer driving route from Salt Lake to Wilson, WY to try and stay on the large interstate for as much as possible. It was still very slow and stressful going, and what should have been a 5 hour drive took close to 7 hours (there was a nice cold, dryer spell through Idaho). Teton Pass was open, but the drive was also very slippery so great caution was taken. It was awesome to see so many skiers parked though for a day of touring/laps! I really miss living in a place where that is just the thing you do with friends!

Today's almost-7 hour drive

Today’s almost-7 hour drive

I made it to Wilson, WY without incident and have decided to park myself here for the next while because:

  1. Snow conditions are great
  2. I love the Tetons
  3. I am very tired of driving around and just want to stay put in a place, ski, snowshoe, and recharge
  4. I got an excellent deal at the Bentwood Inn, only 12 minutes away from Teton Village – yes, this trip has been one of contrasts. To be some times sleeping in my car to staying at one of National Geographic’s Unique Lodges of the World. As an aside, I was chatting with the male part of the innkeepers, and it was pretty great to learn of overlap. It turns out that he and his wife lived in North Conway, NH for a long time and are going to be returning there after a few years here (he’s an attorney and she is a teacher). He offered to do a caravan for the drive back East, although I do not think it will work out since I am probably under greater time pressure than he is and they are probably going to drive a more southerly (warmer) route.

Right now I am thinking I will ski at Jackson Hole and also Grand Targhee, a small resort renowned for how much powder it gets (along the lines of Revelstoke and the other inner British Columbia resorts). This is just more kind of scene…small resorts with steep, amazing terrain, lots of locals, and fewer tourists (like me). It helps that I am here mid-week and not having to fight the crowds.

Due to some late emails, I only found out that I received an invitation to ski with the US Paralympic ski team this week after I left town. The team practices Monday to Friday, so I am tempted to drive back to the Salt Lake area and ski with them on Friday, perhaps “avenge” my no-skiing-time in SLC over the weekend, then decide whether to head back up here or to Colorado, depending on snow conditions. Another option is to try and connect with them next week. Colorado seems to doing worse conditions-wise, which makes Jackson Hole all the more appealing. However, this would mean missing seeing friends in the Telluride area, especially.

The warm storm following the very very cold spell screams avalanche danger, so I will be continuing to stay in-bounds. It’s a bit unfortunate I have not been able to use any of my touring stuff, but the terrain is so amazing at these places, I am sure I will not feel sad. A gentle snowshoe in the quiet of the snow sounds perfectly satisfying too.

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Looking out of the window right by my bed

As I was driving, I remembered so many strangers’ comments to me as I’ve been skiing, telling me how incredible I was, what a great attitude I had to life (my response to that one was, “you make do” :)), what an inspiration I was etc. It would be incredibly ungrateful and unkind of me to dismiss these sincere and wonderful comments from people. I hope I can continue to do others and myself proud.

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With our thoughts we make the (our) world

/ Wendy Ong / Leave a comment

No new snow and hard pack and the continued shin issue made me decide to sit today out as well. I felt bad that I was letting another ski day slip away, but I also thought that I did not want this shin to inhibit future skiing on this trip, especially at my next stop, Jackson Hole. A dear friend read my last blog post, after I directed her towards it to explain why I was feeling so low lately. She pointed out what we both know already and that is, I am constantly manifesting, and bringing my unhealthy thinking patterns along  with me wherever I go. “Underneath all of these experiences is a less than ideal thinking pattern for you which seems to be keeping you from living the life you want. Address that thing that is sitting there deep dark inside you that goes with you no matter where you go.” What I struggle with is how to go about doing this. When I think about how I might never break free from this pathology, I despair the most.  When I told my friend about this fear, and clarified what I meant by “pathology” (who I am), she pointed out that who are you are is not pathology.

I know there are positive components to me that have allowed me to push myself to where I am today, allowed me to befriend some wonderful people, and have incredible experiences. Like this trip I am on. Adventure, even? But as you have probably gathered, there is this highly punishing part of me that reacts poorly to setbacks and can always find a way to blame myself, blame my reactions etc. And, of course, judgment is at best, unhelpful; at worst, a cruel siphon of energy and joy. A reader kindly reminded me to not let the frustrating experiences overshadow the awesome ones, and how correct he is.

I am not going to have the overnight epiphany Eckhart Tolle said he had (I am highly highly skeptical this is what happened, but whatever, he has helped a lot of people I guess and done well for himself), but I will try to move forward with renewed purpose and optimism. That, fuck it, shit happens. I am doing something not many people have the balls to do on their own, let alone without the weight of my accident. I will get to see beautiful places, maybe meet some cool people along the way (I already have) and, yeah, ski. Because skiing is awesome. Maybe I am doing all right after all.

(By the way: lock de-icer spray + PB B’laster to keep the water out of the lock. WD-40 is too lightweight/freeze in really really cold conditions).

 

A study in human and non-human equipment limitations

/ Wendy Ong / 2 Comments

Limitations/failures, depending on your mood for euphemisms…

I have been struggling. This trip, or at least the last week, seems to have been a study in human and non-human equipment limitations and failures (in very cold weather) :( After the debacle around my outriggers, and to a much lesser extent my stiffer, narrower (96mm) ski, I thought I was ready to move forward with the primary objective of this trip: fuckin’ SKIING, eh??!

Sun on the other side of the parking lot. It was shaping up to be a very cold but clear day.

Sun on the other side of the parking lot. It was shaping up to be a very cold but clear day.

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The non-human part

I knew it was going to be very cold today (I did not realize it was not going to get above 0 degF (-18 degC), and it was mostly around -6 degF (-21 degF) when I was out, before the slight wind chill).  I thought I had gotten use to dealing with these cold conditions and I had suited up my usual Himalaya-winter style, and was ready to enjoy skiing in Alta for the first time in many many years. But I did not anticipate the effect all this prolonged exposure to very cold conditions has had, except on my car key battery.

After my usual routine of suiting up like a clown, I inserted my cargo box key into the core to open it. It was not entering/turning. I try the other side/core. No luck. Now my cargo box has been a total champ on this trip. It has withstood very very high winds, and I purchased it based on its ease of operation, opening/closing.

I know the cargo box has been exposed to really really frigid temperatures, especially when you’re driving 80-90 mph on the freeway in ambient air temperatures around 0 degF. I have had the experience of having difficulty inserting and turning car keys in older cars in cold weather. But this was still surprising me. I keep fiddling around, jamming the cargo box key as hard as I can without breaking it (I worried that if I was too rough, the cargo box key would snap and be stuck in the core. I try the following things without success:

  • Breathing into the core, but I knew this was likely going to be totally useless
  • Pour my hot coffee over the car key to try and warm it up and thaw any frozen water that might have entered the core
  • Heat the car key with a borrowed lighter
  • Heat the core lock with the same borrowed lighter
  • Start the car, turn the heater to full blast, heat the car key in the vent, and quickly insert the key into the lock

As I mentioned before, a few days ago, I had my first minor accident where I steered my car into a snow bank. I knew that a ton of snow had gotten into the passenger side rear wheel and that the weather had not been warm enough for this to thaw. So I had been driving around with a bunch of frozen ice jammed up there, possibly affecting how the wheel and brakes work. Thus, I was heavily incentivized to get rid of this snow. I should have known the car washes would not be operational in negative Fahrenheit temperatures, but I still looked for one in Hailey, ID. No luck. I tried self-cleaning with one of those spray wands, but even with very hot water coming out, the temperatures and pressure were not high enough. So I was keen to look for a place to get a car wash in the relatively warmer Salt Lake City area. Before my road trip, as an experiment and also to get rid of Vermont mud/filth, I had taken my cargo box through a car wash in Somerville, MA, to see if the car wash would damage the box and if water would enter the box. The cargo box and its contents were unaffected. So I did not think twice about bringing my cargo box through a car wash here. Well, it turns out that temperatures even in the low teens are enough to possibly affect the functioning of the box. Water must have gotten into the core lock and frozen.

Last resort: Go to the cafeteria, get a cup of scalding hot water, hope it doesn’t get much colder by the time I get to the car, pour hot water over the core. Yes, I knew this water was just going to fuckin’ re-freeze but I had to get my cargo box open. The cargo box opened to my relief, and I took out both skis (my fat ski and my harder pack snow ski and outriggers). As a precautionary measure, I will now keep my skis and outriggers, as well as a thermos with hot water inside the car when I am going to a ski area.

So that made for a very fraught start to the morning :(

This was when temperatures were WARMER.

This was when temperatures were WARMER.

The human part

Well hands were very cold from dealing with wet, but I was ready to ski. I thought that the snow from previous days called for my fatter, softer 109mm underfoot ski. The snow was actually rock solid chunks, although the groomed runs would have been super fun on my stiffer Aura. I wasn’t feeling stellar but thought I just needed to get a few warm up runs in me. I also made the decision that I would give my 109mm ski another few goes but if the snow remained hard and chunky, I would head back to my car to get my 96mm Aura, which ended up being the decision I made.

There are many things about skiing on one leg that a lot of people who don’t ski the way I do don’t think about. Heck, I don’t even think about these things until they rear their ugly, highly inconvenient, heads. Today, three things came together to make me have to cut my day short:

  1. I ski on one leg, but I am not missing my other leg, so I still carry all its weight and my entire body weight pushes against my right shin when I ski. My outside (pinky-toe) edge is the more difficult side for me and I really need to bear down on that outer shin to make good turns on that side. I’ve had some right shin aches and pains before but never a huge deal. I was experiencing some soreness last night but thought it would be fine by the morning.
  2. I ski on a pretty/very stiff ski boot, especially for someone by size/weight.
  3. I have been skiing in very cold temperatures

So while I have not had that many ski days given how long my trip has been, the fact that I have been pushing myself/skiing hard, in a stiff boot whose stiffness has been exacerbated by the very cold temperatures, on one leg has caused my outer right shin to hurt so much that I was openly weeping as I skied today. I am a big, emotional cry-baby, but it takes a lot of physical pain to make me cry. I just wanted to make it back to the car without getting into an accident, which was challenging because I couldn’t exert that pressure on my shin to be in total control.

I know the cargo box thing could have happened to anyone in these weather conditions, and who had to get the snow off around the wheels. But I am particularly upset because yet another ski day was cut short by something related to my spinal cord injury. I am applying heat, external analgesics, will take anti-inflammatories, and was using a compression wrap to try and get the pain and inflammation down. But I am feeling very down and thwarted. I am not even sure there is a solution to this; just “management.” Maybe it is about limiting number of skiing days in very cold weather; skiing in milder temps. Portable battery or car-battery powered hair-dryers. Or staying at home, sitting on the couch all day, and eating bonbons.

“Hold on, Hold on. Whatever happens: Hold on”

/ Wendy Ong / Leave a comment

This video from Cafe Kraft brought tears to my eyes, even before the music swelled. Maybe it is the combination of the ever present thought of making peace with ones physical state etc., but pushing yourself and going for it, and thinking about my own aging father. But the attitude of these men is something I am in awe of. It will continue to be a struggle and require much practice, but their Lebensfreude is something that I can aspire towards. Maybe, one day, I might even be a Lebenskünstler, but that is unlikely.

Sun Valley Day 2 – a slight change of heart about the place

/ Wendy Ong / Leave a comment

Oh, how fickle my opinion can be of a place. While still very far from the top fav ski areas, 4-5″ of fresh snow improved my opinion of Sun Valley considerably. The overnight snow, snow all through the morning, and moderate temperatures in the low to mid-teens (Farenheit) made for stellar conditions this morning. The bowls filled in and were no longer icy waist high bumps. The bowls all start of fluffy and steep but pretty much all of the runs end up being those harder waist-high bumps, so my right leg was worked by the time lunch time rolled around.

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Bumps are tiring

 

I did have to spend a fair bit of time deciding a) where do I go next – Jackson Hole, or Utah, and b) whether to try and get ahead of the big storm rolling through southern Idaho and the Salt Lake City area (forecast for 40″ by the time the storm watch is over tomorrow afternoon). Driving in the dark and snow on less than maintained highways this afternoon/evening did not seem smart, and I was not even sure if my car would be able to make it up Little Cottonwood Canyon to Alta/Snowbird tomorrow morning anyway. So I am staying put for the night and tomorrow will likely be an enforced rest day as I wait to trail this Pacific system moving through.

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The no-google-tan-whatsoever tour continues

 

 

Equipment setback and recovery – Sun Valley, ID

/ Wendy Ong / 2 Comments

I am thankful to Higher Ground, the Sun Valley Adaptive Sports program that helped me fix my outriggers. The person I was supposed to meet did not show up, but after a phone call, the director of operations made sure someone did come by to try and help me. We could not find a stand alone spare spring, but I suggested that we find a broken outrigger and take the spring off that, and that is what we did. Outriggers fixed, yay.

It took me awhile to find the lift area and get my pass, but that happened and I was ready to ski. Finally.

It was a beautiful morning as the sun rose and clouds cleared.

It was a beautiful morning as the sun rose and clouds cleared.

But, WTF, what was wrong with me??! I felt like I could not ski at all! My ski was not holding an edge at times, or hanging on for too long. Was it because I was fat and had been a lazy sod the last 3 days and sitting on my bloody arse? I took a few more runs trying to figure out what was going on. It must have been because I filed my own ski edges the day before and I must have fucked that up. I went to the ski shop in the main lodge to see if they might be able to take a look and do a quick tune. When I brought my ski in and explained what was going on, the ski tech immediately nodded and was like, yep, I see what is going on. I had taken off too much off the base edges, and my side edges were totally trashed (from use and my attempts to fix it as well). He was able to get my ski turned around in 20 minutes so that I did not have to throw away yet another day due to yet another piece of equipment failure.

I took the ski out and breathed a sigh of relief. Yes, it was the ski and not entirely me. Although I was skiing out of sorts today just from sitting in a car all day and eating McDonalds :( I was able to rail on that ski though.

Clouds clearing in the distance

Clouds clearing in the distance

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Conditions were dust on very hard crust, so it actually was not that fun skiing. Sun Valley is a good mountain if you want to rail on your downhill and GS turns; I can see why Picabo Street came from here. But the whole vibe and place is not really my scene. It seems like there are a lot of rich douchebags. Not that being rich makes you automatically a douchebag, but I am trying to characterize a particular type of skier. The kind who feels entitled, complains and grumbles about even the most minor of inconveniences. The kind who will knock down skis/snowboards on a rack and not pick them up. I found the town of Ketchum, ID to be extremely dull, and I am generally suspect of ski towns with a Lululemon in them. The highlight of Ketchum will be going to the Pioneer Saloon and eating an Idaho potato that weighs in at over a pound. Seriously.

That being said, I can say in retrospect that despite the shit show on New Years Day and the equipment setbacks with my outriggers and ski, I managed to find a solution and get things back on track. On a big trip like this, stuff is bound to go wrong. I will make use of my second day at Sun Valley that comes with the Mountain Collective pass, and continue on my way to Utah and Wyoming.

I also realize that there are not many people with my physical situation doing what I am doing. That’s probably why Whistler Adaptive was so not helpful for me. A lot of adaptive skiers require more supervision. Whereas I am on this big road trip, managing on my own for the most part, until a key piece of equipment fails and I am a long way from home to get the part fixed/mailed to me. Adaptive programs also tend not to be located in the places I enjoy skiing the most.